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‘Tomorrow Morning, Take a left as soon as your leave home.’

I am totally goint to do this!

I’ll update you and let you know where I end up….

Well, its about time that I get a good fortune cookie.

“Beauty will surround you – open your eyes to see it.”

It actually says something about my future.  Finally!  ha ha

‘Knowledge is priceless.’

Really?  What kind of ghetto fortune is that? That tells me nothing of my future. That gives me no hints as to what lies ahead.  Ah!  I miss the good ole days of cheap candy and decent fortunes.  Sigh.

On a completely more random note, I really miss Kyle XY. Sure the acting was bad, but there was just something drawing about the show…

Well, those of you who know me understand how I thrive off of random details that don’t really impact our daily living. I posted some strange facts about myself a few back, but thought we were due for another round of Brad Exposed…

1.) Brad hates having a beard but hates shaving even more … so that is why the scruff continues.
2.) Brad keeps fresh flowers on his dining room table…and there is nothing wrong with a guy having flowers on his dining room table.
3.) Brad knows a lot more about sports than he tends to let on. i didn’t say I enjoy watching them 24/7 but I know more about them than I let on.
4.) Brad is REALLY nervous about turning 30. But at the same time, really excited for the birthday bash.
5.) Brad has a very strict movie-going guide that he follows. Very few movies actually pass his test, but those that do are amazing.
6.) Brad loves nothing more than to travel. For serious.
7.) Brad actually enjoys talking on the phone. I wish more people would talk instead of text.
8.) Brad sent over 8,000 sms messages last month….and thought it was a slow month.

So, I just got off a phone call with a friend and, during our discussion, it occurred to me that I have really neglected my blog here. My apologies.

Here goes. Let’s get back tot he randomness of my life.

Today was the SMX Family Picnic. An amazing time was had by all. The food was great. We played some cards, moffia, sardines, and more. I love those kids so much. I can’t even remember what my life was like before them. I have made so many tremendous friends and, hopefully, made an impact on those around me. Afterwards, I cleaned the house, showered, and sat down to watch a movie.

Let’s see. I started back to the gym. In much need. Ugh — why are office jobs such killers?

Ah well, let’s see how many posts I can write over the next few days. Should be entertaining.

Alright, my dearest peeps.  I must confess that I let my emotions get the best of me this past weekend. There was a lot of driving and stress involved in the relocation followed by two very independent people trying to co-habitate and working out the kinks.

Now, granted, not all the kinks are worked out, nor will they be for a very long time. But, you work through things for family.

This weekend will be the true test…..JAX is outta the running for the SuperBowl.  Now, poor Tommy will have to choose between routing for the Steelers or risk suffering the wrath of the family. ha ha

Hmm…in other news? Can’t think of much.

Hey folks. I am very conflicted today. I promised myself I would blog more this year and be honest about my feelings so here goes.

I really think I am in over my head on this one. I am completely and utterly clueless on how to handle a teenager in the house. I don’t know what to do. I know God will provide, but the means is really taking its toll.

I am not one to talk about my feelings or thoughts or ask for help too often…however, I don’t know what else to do. I could totally use some extra prayer and especially extra encouragement.

Wish us luck. Tomorrow is the appointment with the guidance counselor.

Gnite all.

Brad

IS IT REAL ~ WHAT YOU FEEL
DO YOU BURN INSIDE
IS IT TRUE ~ WITHIN YOU
IS YOUR SPIRIT ALIVE

TELL ME WHY DO YOU FEAR
AND TRY TO DISAPPEAR
IF YOU’VE GOT NOTHING TO HIDE

SHINE LIKE THE STARS
WHEREVER YOU ARE
WHEREVER YOU GO
BE HEAVENLY GLOW
SHINE LIKE THE STARS

==============================================

Stellar Kart’s latest CD, Expect the Impossible, has really been hitting me hard since it came out.  This is, by far, one of the most lyrically sound albums I have seen in a long time. Their desire for pure, ongoing, unconditional love for God is tangible.  I kinda laugh at the title – Expect the Impossible.  Isn’t it sad that what God calls us for today is almost impossible by the standards of this world?

Otherwise, things in life are odd.  Tommy is down in Florida getting things ready for the big move. I am excited.  I am nervous. I am scared.  It is a huge change for myself and I am not the one moving. I cannot even imagine what he is going through. Please pray for strength and peace during this time of transition.

So, I randomly met a new friend the other night. We have some mutual friends and we started talking. So, last night, we decided we were both hungry at like 11pm so we went to Eat n Park. It was so nice to be able to sit down and have a nice, adult conversation with no drama.  It was really awesome how God brought him in while I have kinda been down lately about friends my own age.  I guess God knows what He’s doing.

Yesterday
Once again
I fell down and broke a friend
Words were said
Out of place
and I hope that it’s not too late
To right this wrong
Cause I was wrong

============

Those words by Shaun Groves resonate like sharp blades today. Yesterday, while attempting to be funny, I crossed a line and broke a wall of trust I have worked for years to build. It was a shear act of stupidity and, looking back now, probably one of the actions I now most regret.

Kyle, I don’t know if you ever read this or not….but I am truly and terribly sorry. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.

your brother in Christ,

Brad

Wow, so I don’t even know where to begin right now. I am so overwhelmed. Confused. Frustrated. Sad. Lonely.  I had initially had plans last night – New Years Eve – but those fell through.  So, here I sit, at home starring at the TV and writing.

Well, I am sitting here watching ‘Return to Neverland’ – the Disney sequel to Peter Pan.  The story lines follows similar to that of Narnia. During the war, children were going to be shipped to the country for safe keeping.  However, Jane (daughter of the original story’s Wendy) believes she is too old to tell her little brother the stories of Peter Pan.  I mean, seriously, who believes in Lost Boys, twinkling fearies, and a flying boy who will never grow up? Well, Hook returns and kidnaps Jane hoping to lure Pan to his death. Of course they escape. However, Jane is not able to see past herself and her immaturity and selfishness end up jeopardizing everybody.  Tink’s light goes out.  The boys are captures. Pan is handcuffed to an anchor and almost fed to the new beast. Eventually, Jane does ‘ungrowup’ and is able to save Tinkerbell. Her and Tink then go on to rescue the lost boys and Pan.  Along the way, she is shown the true treasures in life as she learns how to fly and most certainly how to crow.  After all, what is Neverland without a good crow?

Anybody that knows me in the least knows that Peter Pan is my favorite story of all time and that the young boy who never wants to grow up has a special place in my heart.  Who really wants to grow up?  Who really looks into life and says, ‘I can’t wait to start paying my mortage.  I can’t wait until my company allows me to contribute to my 401K,’ ? It’s a sad day when the pixie dust wears off and our throats become a tad too hoarse for crowing.  Should we strive to grow up?  Should we strive to be a young boy?

Today, I feel like a grown up for the first time. I have taken off my make-believe animal suit and donned a pirate’s vest. The exterior fits so well and the attire is noble and just. However, within these threads of confusion lies a little boy struggling to breath and earnestly crying to be set free.

I am on the verge of moving ahead with a huge change in life. I am more scared than I have ever been. I was so excited, but a lot of that excitement has been turned to hurt. I worry how I will be able to emotionally cope with the days to come. I worry about how I will be able to provide support and love that is needed for the days to come. I worry that I will fail. I worry. Grownups worry.

I have failed the ones I love on so many occassions.  I worry that I am not present enough to show I care. I worry that I am not setting a good enough example for those younger than myself. I worry that I am not fully representing Christ for those around me. I worry. Grownups worry.

One of the girls at youth had commented a little earlier that her new favorite scirpture is Philippians 4:8. This states, ‘Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.’ Wow – that is quite the challenge. It’s kinda crazy that the things listed above come so easily to children, yet so diccitult to adults.  I mean, really, the above items are built into every story that the ‘Wendy-lady’ would have told.

So, here is my resolution. Philipians 4:8.  I am going to strive as best I can and pray that God will makes things possible. God has been so amazing in my life and I know he will continue to pull me through.

And, I am going to grow up. So many of friends are a lot younger than me….due to youth contacts and my usual ‘young boy who doesn’t wanna grow up’ attitude. So, this year, I am going to strive to re-ignite my friendships with those my age as well as try and create new friends.   I also need to re-ignite myself spiritually.  I have been drained over the course of the last 2 years with no means by which to spiritually rejuvinate.  So, I would like to start a local Bible Study for those young adults trying to find themselves and determine God’s plan amongst this all.

Oh well, I still have a letter to write so I should probably get going.

I pray that this new year finds you with much pease and happiness.

Brad